How much i want to scream out and tell you her name...love her so much, but sorry, am bound with the code of conduct of this blog..lets call her SM...she is a friend, a counsellor, activity partner,gossip partner, career advisor,pair of shoulders i wet with my tears all the time, an elder sister, more like a family...ALL IN ONE !! SM is a very balanced person, can see things logically and has a big heart...have never seen her being unfair to anyone...if i want to give a tit-for-tat to someone, she will always stop me, ask me to empathise and then take an action...in short, she is my remote control ;)))
btw, she is also from the same industry as mine, is single@30 and extremely tolerant ! and yes, very bad with keeping track of her monies..
i have always loved saathiya...the movie which narrates the beautiful love story of vivek & rani..they don't look like actors in that, they look like real people...real people in love..so much in love..so commited to each other...
when i first saw the movie only i loved it...it shook me...deep from within...and now its definately more closer to heart !!!
what will happen to my love story, am scared to think of the consequences...
i saw the movie this morning again, just a clip...and my mom was sitting there..it was that scene, where she declares she is already married and her parenst are in a shock..and they disown her...
i sumhow couldnt stand that scene and fled away fom the scene...
what lies ahead for me...
but hey, till then, Saathiya still happens to be the most romantic movie i have ever seen...
:)
yes...
its indeed being a looooooooooo time....
cannt blv it was june 07 when i last wrote...time slips by...really !!!
i promise to write continuosly..more and more...
filling in myself of what i am..what i think..why i do...
on my next update for sure
ciao...
Am hurt..an am angry…does everything needs to be vocal….does everything needs to be told….why should I tell him to call me once he reaches Bangkok. .cant he understand this simple thing…
I donno why I had this amazing faith in him.. that he will call.. despite of me not telling him too…despite of me not reminding him thousand times to do so…it really has broken me down…how convinced I was, that he will call..that he will remember me after going to a different country too…but alas..what a slap on the face….
Yes, I know 3 days are not worth crying for…not that I will die if I don’t speak to him for 3 -4 days, but then, its simple plain courtesy to call when u go out of town..to tell somebody who cares for u that u have safely arrived, and that u missed them already ?
I MISS HIM…terribly ! no doubts about that…but then don’t I expect him to do so…
Oh god ! am angry…am hurt coz he has not called up..am hurt coz he didn’t bother to inform me of his safety…why should I waste my emotion on sumbody so heartless…
I hate him…I hate him for what he does to me..when he behaves so irresponsibly…when I puts me after everything…
Should I call everything off ?
I really cannt take it anymore….
Yesterday (22nd april 07) was one rocking day ! spent a good amount of time with him….
Right from looking for a place to eat, to winding up the day with a juice and economic time, it was a relaxed no-ambition day….
We did nothing the entire day, if u look at it, but it was one of the few fruitful days of my life if u ask me…
We started the day at around 12,(his sleep is more important to start early !) and then drove all the way to AMBROSIA for lunch…he forgot to put my fav CD Rabbi Shergill in the car so we had to listen to the Radio Mirchi (groan !)
We wnt to NDA hoping for an admission, then went to ambrosia where we realized that the food joint was probably shut for renovation. So we decided to go back, though the visit was not fruitless, he picked up A ripe mango for me ;-)
After traveling to at least 4 different places, we finally settled for MacDonald’s buger & iced tea for lunch..then went to his place only to find him talking only about Milo for the next 2 hours !!
Man, sumtimes I feel the real threat to our relationship is not from any good-looking women, but DOGS ! (of all shapes & sizes)
By the w ay, MILO doesn’t bark at me anymore..i guess he realizes my importance in his master’s life and despite of my cold behaviour, he acknowledges my entry in his life !!!
He is a cute dog, a really adorable fat black dog…unfortunately I cannot shake away my fear for the four legged beast L
Then in the eve we went for a really long walk on the NDA Road, settled for sum sandwich & jaljeera in the eve at Khana,Peena,Jeena (that’s the name of a romantic food joint, ouch !) and came back to civilization at around 9…bought ET, had a juice and the beautiful day came to an end ….
The minute I stepped inside my room alone, I realized how badly I missed him, whenever he was not around, and how comfortable we are in each other’s company despite of our humungous differential personalities…
Man..i miss him so much, wish we could spend a lot of time togther….
it was damn sweet of him to take a sunday off for me !!! i really apprecaite that..but sssshhhhhhhh.he shouldnt know this ;-)
i donno why...but i love that song.....
"it must have been love, but its over now...
it must have been love, but i lost it sumhow"
its all that i ever wanted..now that am living without " !!