Yesterday (22nd april 07) was one rocking day ! spent a good amount of time with him….
Right from looking for a place to eat, to winding up the day with a juice and economic time, it was a relaxed no-ambition day….
We did nothing the entire day, if u look at it, but it was one of the few fruitful days of my life if u ask me…
We started the day at around 12,(his sleep is more important to start early !) and then drove all the way to AMBROSIA for lunch…he forgot to put my fav CD Rabbi Shergill in the car so we had to listen to the Radio Mirchi (groan !)
We wnt to NDA hoping for an admission, then went to ambrosia where we realized that the food joint was probably shut for renovation. So we decided to go back, though the visit was not fruitless, he picked up A ripe mango for me ;-)
After traveling to at least 4 different places, we finally settled for MacDonald’s buger & iced tea for lunch..then went to his place only to find him talking only about Milo for the next 2 hours !!
Man, sumtimes I feel the real threat to our relationship is not from any good-looking women, but DOGS ! (of all shapes & sizes)
By the w ay, MILO doesn’t bark at me anymore..i guess he realizes my importance in his master’s life and despite of my cold behaviour, he acknowledges my entry in his life !!!
He is a cute dog, a really adorable fat black dog…unfortunately I cannot shake away my fear for the four legged beast L
Then in the eve we went for a really long walk on the NDA Road, settled for sum sandwich & jaljeera in the eve at Khana,Peena,Jeena (that’s the name of a romantic food joint, ouch !) and came back to civilization at around 9…bought ET, had a juice and the beautiful day came to an end ….
The minute I stepped inside my room alone, I realized how badly I missed him, whenever he was not around, and how comfortable we are in each other’s company despite of our humungous differential personalities…
Man..i miss him so much, wish we could spend a lot of time togther….
it was damn sweet of him to take a sunday off for me !!! i really apprecaite that..but sssshhhhhhhh.he shouldnt know this ;-)
i donno why...but i love that song.....
"it must have been love, but its over now...
it must have been love, but i lost it sumhow"
its all that i ever wanted..now that am living without " !!
And why exactly did he get snappy ??? I know sometimes all of us just behave snappy ,and the person at the receiving end may not be the one responsible for it, but knowing all this, it still hurts..
Our relationship is actually an acid test for my patience….i try.. trust me I really try, but I never seem to succeed…
So what do u say is the correct way of handling this situation…
OPTION l: I act patient, forgive him and be normal…(I cannot do it too successfully. I need to vent it out and then am alright)
OPTION 2 : Sulk and be grumpy…When he calls me up at night,don’t talk, give him the ‘silent treatment’ and then when he probes, EXPLODE ..(this option doesn’t work too, both of us feel very bad and annoyed after it, I cannot leave it midway and he cannot take it all way)
OPTION 3 : Leave yourself alone , leave him alone…let your anger cool down, and then get back jubilantly…why ?? well Payoshni, you got to be patient with him..be there to support him (ur support, who cares !, atleast he doesn’t)… lets not make things messy, coz you want ur peace of mind..or so does he…
You know Ms. Saraf, even in love, a woman always compromises! ego trip, or a question of choices..WE GOTTA COMPROMISE !
Don’t believe me? Look at any woman near you associated with a man, bethroed or married, just in love or with a family of 12…She would always compromise…she has to…you know, there is no choice…
Ohhhhhhhhhh………..this blog si making me more angry…
Can I ask him to FO ?
Let me see…I will surely TRY !!
Yeah, now that makes me happy !!!
one day about 3 years ago, i was travelling to Shoppers' Stop (my place of work) in an autorick...those were the days fo struggle...i was new to the job, to the corporate world...had too many questions...my persoanl life wasn't too happy and i was strugglingto keep relationships afloat...
my frame of mind was that of a confused, battered soul...
and then, i felt somebody sitting next to me..yes, next to me in the rick, sharing that seat..i couldnt see him/her/it, but just feel...
and then suddenly the "invisible" started talking...it began with introducing itself "hi payoshni, am work...yes, am your work...and i have come to tell you that no matter what happen sin ur personal life, i would always be around with you..to distract you, help u heal yourself and move on..." when nobody else is around, i would still be...so trust me !! "
and then, the feeling ceased to exist..i emna the feeling of the other one besides me...
i was confused...damn confused...didnt know what to do...didnt know what happened...
but it gave me a strength, a re-assurance which has not ceased to exit in me...
it may sound funny, but its true...
we all admit or no, work is a healer..probably as good as time ?
atleast..its always with us...
what silly reason we fight for...i feel ashamed...
last night, me & he faught...for what ? , coz we couldnt agree on a common place to go and eat....man...even kids fight for better reaons...but then kids, dont have egos, do they...when i said no to sizzlers, his ego was bruised,when he said no for Darshan, my ego was....
outcome, me and he, with our proud egos, we parted, in a foul mood, heavy heart, lot of complaints cribbing and a pain ...
you know we hardly get any time to spend together..his job has demanding timings, and unlike me he stays with his parents...so he has to be home on decent time..i have a sunday off, he has a weekday off...there is no common time togther, and when we have mr. ego come sin between and makes the evening unforgettable (like last evening ???)
ohhh..i love him....i really do...but then why does ego come in between...
i hate to fight with him, but then we fight a lot...how would love come in between this then ???
am confused...and in pain...have still not got over last night i guess...
i wonder...where is patience gone..of all the people who drive alongside me on the pune roads...why cannt they wait for a red signal..whats the hurry to flurry...
why cannt they honk less on an old lady crossing road alone, or not shout at a inncoent child trying to retrive his ball thats stuck in the middle of the road !!!
i do it sumtimes myself..and then curse myself...for failing to show patience....
yes, its sucha simple thing..following traffic, and traffic rules...then why cannt ppl. do it...what is so difficult...
i promise myself..and to the world..that would cut down on the 0.5% times also that i commit the same mistakes...i will never...
But hey, where is Patience gone anyways....
Hollywoood, Bollywoood, Tollywoood...where do all successful love stories lead..to the sacred word "M" (read M for Marriage)....
why, i ask myself...will my love story end the same one.."am not sure" i tell myself..."sure of what, the end?"..."NO, probably sure of whether i want to end it that way !!"
scary conversation with myself i say...what with the entire world accepting this as the perfect end, why would i be scared...or unsure about it..i donno..i really donno....
no doubts i love him...would love to settle down with him, love him, care for him, cook food, bear childern...or probably not !!!
man....the word "M"...